Tuesday, November 27, 2001


ok, i need to shut up and stop whining and complaining... because... honestly, i have nothing to complain about... i'm being a big baby.... i need to stop... it's really not a big deal, anyway... though this is the 3rd year (at least that's as far back as i can remember, might have been longer) in a row... sigh......... SHUT UP!!!

i shall go change my mood from disappointed to something more..... something other than disappointed or anything synonym of disappointed... something more jolly... yes....... even if it's not entirely true....

and... ugh... i miss my family... :( i saw them all this past week... and... today... i got e-cards from like... everyone... and... :( i just miss them..... living so far away truly does suck at times... sigh.... getting myself all worked up again... i shall shut it...

S's mom kept pestering me last night... asking me what i want for my birthday and christmas... what do i need? nothing what do i want? nothing honestly... i have no idea! if i had $1000 right now to buy whatever i wanted, i'd have no clue what to get... seriously... so, she just kept asking and asking... i don't know!!!!! arg! and she told me that i'm the dilemma of the family... ashley, S's grandmother, and his mom are all wracking thier brains trying to figure out what to get me... shit... get me nothing... i don't care..... i've got no money to get them anything... this is just gonna make me feel extremely guilty...... sigh......

i've been told that my birthday sucks... since it's so close to christmas... so sorry... money gets tight around christmas time... and... it just makes it more difficult to buy everyone gifts and me TWO gifts this time of year... yeah, well, just fuck it then... excuse the piss outta me for having a late november birthday... manage your damn money better... you've known for 7 damn years when my birthday was... you should be well prepared by now... aaaaaaaaaarg........ probably won't get a christmas present either........

but, like i said..... i shouldn't complain... i did get a new very large tv, surround sound, and an entertainment center since i got here in may... none of which i asked for... not to mention a groovy car to drive around in... but, it would have been nice if one of these very cool items had been saved to be given to me on my birthday... or something... you know?

"i feel like such a shithead for not getting you anything..." yeah, you should... "nah, don't... it's ok... i understand the financial situation is not the greatest... don't worry about it... take me out to dinner, that's my present... don't worry about it.." shithead

1:46 PM CT  :: 

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