Wednesday, June 26, 2002

plan for tomorrow

okee dokee... i am tired of sitting on my ass bored to death... i have WAY too much time on my hands and i see that it is making me wiggy... it's really starting to bring me down and i do no like it... so, tomorrow... i'm gonna get up at 8:30 (whoa, that's early for you !! i know, i know) and i am going to go on a nice long brisk walk, but not before i do some stretching... then i am going to come home and get a shower... i have to go see my eye doctor at 11:30 to have a follow-up exam so he can be sure that my new contacts are working for me and all... and i get to pick up the rest of my new contacts... and since i go to sear optical, i will be at the mall... so, when i am finished with my eye doc i am going to walk all around the mall and pick up applications... i am not going to be too pick about which places i apply... i need a job... anything will do... i have decided, that i am going to apply to at least 2 places every day until i get a damn job... that way, not only will i be increasing my chances on getting a job, i will actually be DOING SOMETHING... which is always a good thing...

my mom asked me tonight if i wanted to come up to virginia for a week to visit... she said that i could come with or without S if he can't take off that much time for work... why am i so torn as to whether or not i want to go? i DO want to go, visit my parents and all and actually have things to do for a whole week... but at the same time, i so don't want to go without S (he wouldn't be able to go due to work) and... i'm so paranoid as to the real reason my mom wants me to visit... now, logically, i know it's just cause i have nothing better to do, and she knows this, so she asked me to visit... i mean, why not? and i'm sure she wants me to help her with some wedding plans... like looking at the chapel for myself and all... but... ugh... why am i SUCH a paranoid person??? i mean, i am really paranoid... about everything... i hate it... it's such a crappy way to live...... and i've always been this way... and it's not even like i can explain what i'm paranoid about in this case... honestly... it's just a damn visit to see my parents... sheesh......

sigh... i'm going crazy... see?? i need a job!! i need something to DO! to keep my mind, or at least my body, occupied......... ugh.....

9:14 PM CT  :: 

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