Sunday, November 17, 2002

my clyde

well, it's been sort of a rough weekend..... i had to take clyde to the vet saturday afternoon and i didn't get very good news.....

for a few days now, it's been less than a week, clyde's sorta been "coughing"... it sounds like he's got something caught in his throat and he's trying to hack it up... but nothing ever comes up or anything... he does this "cough" a few times a day... well, i really didn't think anything of it... it didn't sound too abnormal or weird...

then yesterday afternoon clyde drank some water a little too fast and gagged some of it up... he does this all the time, cause he's a goober... he's done it since he was a puppy... he just drinks too fast and gags... no biggie... but yesterday afternoon, when he gagged, i noticed some blood in the water that came up... coughing up blood is usually not a good thing... so, i got a little concerned... i called my mom to tell her about it and see what she thought... i told her about him "coughing" lately too... she seemed to think that his throat was irritated and sore... and that the blood just came from his sore throat... she said i should try to get him to the vet that afternoon to have her look at it... so... ok, no big deal... sore throat... poor baby...

well, i called my vet and she had closed at noon (it was then just 1:00)... so, i opened up the phone book to find a vet that was open... i found one, called them, and they made an appointment for us at 2:15...

sooo, we went to the vet.... he asked me if clyde's appetite was normal... and i said it was, but there was one funny thing about clyde eating lately... for about a week now he hasn't been as excited about getting his dinner... normally he can not wait for me to place his dish down so he can scarf up the grub... but for about a week, after i'd place his dish down, he would just look at me, then at the food, then at me again... and then walk up to his food and sniff it... and then act like "eh... ok......... i'll eat"... he just wasn't as excited about it like normal... but, again, i didn't think too much of this.... it was a little odd, but he still ate all his food... and he ate it just as fast as normal, he wasn't slow about it at all... so... what was the big deal? anyway, i told the vet all that... he also asked if clyde had diarrhea... no, everything was ok in that department... the vet listened to his lungs and heart, he said all sounded ok there... so, he decided to take clyde back for an x-ray of his chest... he said that maybe he had some form of pneumonia and he was gonna x-ray his chest to see if there was any fluid in his lungs... at this time, i was thinking, you just listened to his lungs and said everything sounded ok... right?... anyway... what do i know?

so... he took clyde back for an x-ray and he brought him back to me in just a minute... so, clyde and i waited in the exam room alone for about 6 or 7 minutes... then his nurse came in and said that the x-ray the vet took was a side view... and now he wanted a frontal view... so, he took clyde back for another one... i was starting to get a little nervous... i was thinking... he wants a 2nd x-ray... to look more closely at something... meaning he's found something he wants to get a clearer look at... there's something there............ sooo, another minute later he brought clyde back... and again clyde and i waited for 6 or 7 minutes.... then the vet came back...

he brought the x-rays with him to show me... he showed me the side view 1st... he pointed out clyde's intestines and liver and heart and all that... then showed me his lungs... he said that his lungs had some "spots" on them... like nodules or something... these nodules could mean one of two things, he said... he could have some form of fungal infection and the spots were fungus... or.... it could be cancer........

a fungal infection, he said, would be treatable... the medication to treat it would be expensive, he said... but, none-the-less, it can be handled... cancer.... there wouldn't be much that could be done......

he told me to take the x-rays to our normal vet on monday and see what she thought....

he was very noncommittal with me... he would not say either way his opinion or which way he was leaning... which, i suppose is understandable... since he wasn't our normal vet......

so, i left with the x-rays... i lost it as soon as i walked out of the office... i put clyde in the car and just sat there for a minute to calm down before i started driving home...

i got home... was calm... dialed my parents' phone number.... my dad answered... i said hi... he asked how it went... and... i lost it... worse... couldn't talk or say anything for about 30 seconds... he was just saying "oh...... *sigh*...... what?"... so, i told him what the doc said... then he put my mom on... and i told her what the doc said... i could hear that she had started crying... but, she was calm enough..... i kept losing it throughout the phone call.....

then i called steven and told him....

kept losing it.....

but, you know........ we don't know anything yet... and that's all i keep thinking... we don't know anything yet...

looking back at the last few weeks, though, i have noticed some things... clyde's been panting lately for no apparent reason... he'll just be laying on the couch, then lift his head up and start panting for about a minute, then lay back down... he's also been breathing harder and faster... during walks he just stops in the middle of the sidewalk, like to take a break... he doesn't stop to sniff, he just stops to stop...

my baby is 13 1/2 years old... i know he's getting old... and i've been sorta preparing mentally for the past year or so... just realizing he's getting old... and things happen to old dogs............

but, like i said.... we don't know anything yet...

i'm gonna call our normal vet tomorrow morning and get the 1st appointment i can... i don't really want to do this alone..... but... steven's gotta work... and who else would go with me? anyway..... like i said... we don't know anything... i might not get such horrible news... soo......... we'll see............

sigh.......

1:33 PM CT  :: 

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