Wednesday, April 23, 2003

*sigh*

tomorrow it will be exactly a month until my wedding... eek! I'm not really nervous or anything, I'm just really excited... I'm so ready to be married and have all this behind me... I know I'll be nervous about the actual wedding a few days beforehand... it's so weird, though... I'll be a wife... I'll have a husband... I'll be a Mrs.... this is so weird... :) I'm ready for it though... very ready...

I don't know if I ever mentioned it on here that Steven and I were going to go to Disney World for our honeymoon... doesn't matter because we're not going to go anymore... we just can't afford it... the hotel room was going to be paid for by my parents, which helped a lot... but besides that, Disney World is very very expensive... and the plane tickets... not to mention the week off work Steven would have to take... he doesn't get any vacation time or anything, so he wouldn't be making any money while gone... we just can't afford it... we really thought that I would have a real job by now........ we shouldn't have been counting on that, but we were....... then we decided to go to Williamsburg for a few days... it's fairly close to my parent's house and we could drive...... but... even that's pushing it......... soooo... we're not going to go on a honeymoon... just gonna come on home.... *sigh*... I don't know why this upsets me so much, but it does... I was disappointed about not going to Disney world, but I was ok with it because I was excited about doing Williamsburg instead... but now we're not even doing that..... I'm just feeling sorry for myself, I guess..... we should have planned better for this whole wedding thing... actually, we didn't plan for anything.... we should have been saving money for the time Steven would have to take off and for the honeymoon and all that... like I said, we were planning on my having a job by February... how silly were we?? my mom really thinks we ought to do something... like go up to the Natural Bridge for a day or something... just be alone away from home........... SOMETHING... I'll have to talk to Steven about that..... I so want to do something... and I try to justify it to myself by thinking that we can have a honeymoon later... it doesn't have to be right after the wedding..... but who am I kidding? that will never happen.... money's not great now and it probably won't be for a while... I still need to get a real job... we still need to pay off some bills... we need to get a house.......... there's just too much in the way.......... oh well, no big deal, really... a LOT of people don't go on honeymoons.... no one in my family...... a few people in Steven's.... ugh...

ok... I'm gonna whine some more............. my bridal shower, that Steven's mom's friends are throwing for me, is on sunday... I registered at McRae's, a nice department store down here... anyway... hardly anyone has bought anything! Steven's grandmother, I know, has bought the large suitcase we asked for, and 2 placesetting have been bought..... and a creamer.... I didn't even want the creamer, but the lady that was registering us kinda pressured me into asking for it... the shower's in less than a week.... why the hell haven't people bought anything?? when I 1st registered, Steven's mom thought that I needed to register for more... so, I did... and still............. ugh!

ok... off to watch tv... Steven had to go to a friend's house tonight to set up his home theater system for him... so, I'm alone........ so, I'm gonna watch chick movies.... yay...

5:15 PM CT  :: 

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